Hmm, layout problem - I’ll post instead of commenting
And then we’ll figure out the technical difficulty.
I think the important issues can be stated in the “covenant,” leaving any niggly stuff to be explored over time or for “care and feeding” sorts of things, should we wish to create them. We needed more document the first time, as we needed more process, because we were learning a great deal about each other and making sure we were using the same words to mean the same things.
What I’d like to see is a pretty simple statement of our commitment to each other that we can show to new people. I don’t expect them to agree to it or sign off on it (after all, they aren’t parties to it), but if they can’t respect it, they’ll know in advance that we aren’t people they should get involved with. If someone becomes a new SO, develops a serious relationship with one of us, it might be worthwhile to work out such a written commitment with that person (if he or she wants one).
Because we’re like that, we’d probably still have the exposition stuff that goes into greater detail about why some things are as they are, how we arrived at our agreements - but that isn’t “required reading” or anything. It’s just thereĀ for those who are interested in reading it.
September 29th, 2006 at 12:00 pm
On the other hand, though, if someone is interested in being with one of us and can’t be arsed to read a document about it, then do we really want to be involved with them?
It’s daunting, yes, and some of the language is blunt, but you know, I think it does weed out people who aren’t exactly motivated to follow a similar process.
Something I was thinking of - let’s go ahead and write what we know to be incomplete drafts…knowing that the drafts we create are not going to take the full 360 degree perspective, and use those as basis to work from. That way, we don’t have to worry about some kind of “rightness or wrongness” or to “have to get it perfect the first time out”